That night the hostel people left to the beach, having a campfire of their own, amongst many that lit up the otherwise dark shore of the Pacific Ocean. It was a rather windy night so the sound of the waves held an undertone to all of the discussions, and the stars were bright above all these merry people. They were a big group, about 20 people. Karl was not there, obviously, and Hannah was happy about that. John, on the other hand kept hanging around in their group and annoyed her a bit by his presence. She felt she shouldn’t have given him the right to see her paintings, but it was too late to regret that. With his clever mockery towards Karl he had acquired the respect of Wayne and Greg, and he was mainly talking with them. She wasn’t really happy about the hatred the men kept towards Karl – she didn’t like him that much, but that was her right and only hers, the other people should’ve been neutral as it was none of their business.

   She was talking with another new hostel guest when he finally came to her.

   “Hi Hannah. How are you?”

   “Wonderful, thanks”, she answered and turned back to the other guy. He didn’t deserve her time.

   “I’m sorry if I’ve made you mad somehow. I didn’t mean to”, he didn’t let her go.

   “By mocking my way of living and telling me you know better what choices I should make in my life? A little bit”

   “I know it was wrong. But you’re wasting your time here! You have talent, that’s the only thing Karl is right about. You should be doing something with it”

   “Listen…” Hannah turned around to face John and by doing that turned her back to the rest of the group. This was something they had to go through. “You think I’m just an ignorant savage, do you? And you’ve achieved so many things already in your life, you have such great plans, I guess it is so. I’m just a savage, someone you need to change”

   “No, that’s not what I meant! But… Your potential…”

   “The thing I cannot see is that if I am the ignorant one, how can there be so much that you don’t know? Or understand. I mean, here we have you, with your degree and your rich parents and your privileged life. But are you happy? And can you understand anything that’s beyond your own circle of people? You think the only people who are worth something are the people who think like you and live like you, and the funny thing is, you don’t know what you lose when that’s all you know”

   Hannah had a break. John didn’t say anything, so she continued.

   “You look at my painting and say it’s beautiful, but all you think about is that someone would probably buy it. You count the money. Could you ever look at a piece of art and just admire it without thinking what it’s worth, art or a landscape or people? There’s a lot of things that are beautiful in this world which you don’t have to pay for and you don’t have to be influential and important to admire. Have you ever listened to the voices of a desert on a star-lit night when there’s no people within the next hundred miles anywhere? Gone skinny-dipping in the ice-cold water of a river without worrying how it might affect your dignity in the eyes of others? Can you look at the mountains and see them, really see them, and paint them with the colours of the wind that you can see if you look hard enough? You can be the great hero of the world, basically own it and rule it with your power, and all you’ll own is mere sand on your palm unless you can really see beauty that’s all around you”

   John kept staring at her.

   “It’s that simple. You can run the hidden pine trails of the forest, enjoy every moment of it, run until you’re out of your breath and fall down and be connected with the rest of the world. Or you can collect money, become influential, and what does that leave you with? Money and influence. Is that happiness? Maybe for someone, but not for me”

   Hannah stood up and started walking away. It took a while before John could react fast enough to run after her.

   “Show me your life. I want to experience it”

   Hannah looked at him, surprised. Then she started running with all her energy next to the shoreline. John followed, understanding this was not an escape but an invite.  

   John was totally out of his breath before Hannah finally fell to the ground, far from anyone else. He fell next to her, wondering what would happen next and at the same time trying not to think about nothing but the present. Hannah started throwing sand on his legs, apparently burying him. He was too tired to care.

   “Tell me about yourself”, Hannah asked, more gently than he had ever heard her speak.

   “I want the world to be a better place. I was raised to think that politics is the way to change the way everything works. I did not want to come to the States in the first place, my parents made me. I wanted to be useful. I want to be useful. I guess that’s the biggest thing that drives me”

   “Have you ever been in love?”

   “There has been… girls… but it’s always been a bit awkward, I haven’t been able to actually give myself to it, I’ve always needed the independence and felt they’d become a burden on my way to victory if I’d let them in. It has never become anything serious”

   “Do you want the victory because you want to be important or because you care about the people you’re trying to help?” Hannah had buried his legs completely and continued to his stomach and chest.

   “I’ve always told myself I want the best for the people, but I guess it’s a bit of both. I want to show my parents I’m worth all the investments they’ve paid to get me educated. I want to be interesting. I’m not artistic, I’m not creative, I’m not exciting in anyway. If I changed the world, I could become worthy of the love of my parents and worthy to be here, in this world, where everything is possible and it would be a shame to leave the possibilities unused”

   “Funny, that’s what I tell myself, that I should grab the opportunities I have. To enjoy, not to stress too much, to be happy and go wherever I want to without too many worries”

   “That sounds so much better than just getting influence. But the happiest moments of my life have been when I have been of use to someone, been able to make someone else’s life a little bit better than it would’ve been without me. That’s what I hoped to do here”, he said bitterly, “until I realised I am the fool and all the learning should be done by me. I am not worthy of preaching to anyone”

   Hannah had finished burying him, his head was pointing out of a great pile of sand that was the rest of his body. “I don’t think so. You are better than you think you are. I thought you’re just too fond of yourself to appreciate anyone else. But you’re actually concerned about other people’s wellbeing. You are bad in showing it, but you really do care”

   “I try to show it…”

   “And all that comes out is arrogance and pride”

   “I’m sorry…”

   “No, I’m sorry. For you. You’re misunderstood by most of the people. It’s sad”

   For a while they were there, John buried under the sand, Hannah sitting next to him, staring to the distance. Then she suddenly jumped up.

   “Come on, let’s go for a swim!”

   “What, no, it’s cold, I’ve got my clothes on…”

   “You said you want to experience my life, come on!”

   She ran all her clothes on to the water. It was cold but refreshing. She laughed out loud and splashed towards John who had made it halfway and was walking slowly towards her. She grabbed him and dragged him under the water.

   “Cold!” he gasped when he got his head back above the water.

   “But fucking alive!” She laughed and grabbed his waist, left bare by the loose t-shirt that was floating in the water, with her surprisingly strong grip. She kissed him violently. He answered, grabbing her to feel the warmth of her body in the cold water. For a second he tried to reason that this was probably not a good idea, but the heated body and the willing lips of this wonderful child of the wild made him forget everything. They walked back to the beach that was empty and dark with the lights of the campfires barely visible far away. They tore away their wet, cold clothes and fell to the ground, shaking from the cold and seeking the warmth of each other. The night passed with their sandy bodies pressed against each other.