Nana wrote a note and posted it on the hostel memo board. She and Hannah had been in San Diego long enough to be known by the all the workers and most of the guests as well. So when they told everyone they were leaving it was a buss and the shops nearby were emptied from alcohol. It was going to be quite a party, everyone was determined this would be talked about for a couple of weeks at least.

   John didn’t plan to get wasted. But the atmosphere being what it was, he found himself drinking way too heavy and not actually caring about it. Thomas was already ready to dance on the table and Nana and Hannah were mainly screaming and laughing, looking cute with Greg and Wayne dancing with them. John felt jealous and decided to go pick Hannah to himself.

   Wayne was drinking to forget that Nana was actually and for real going. Their relationship did not seem deep on the surface, but for the first time in his life he felt that he had found his equal, a person with whom he could share all his dreams and all his funny moments without any signs of unhealthy addiction. They were independent people that loved sharing their days and their nights. And now it had all come to an end. They would meet later, of course, as travellers they would run into each other. But he just couldn’t handle the idea that Nana would be gone for a day, a week, a year, and she might find someone else, and he would have to return to Australia, sweet, comfortable, safe and boring Australia and think of her now and then. There was a plan forming in his mind, but he wasn’t drunk enough to carry it out just yet.

   Hannah wanted to forget John, and he wanted to be with John. He was taking over her mind. He was wrong in most of his opinions, but what was that next to the fact that he was the love of her life, at least in her drunken mind. He was handsome, she wanted her so badly, they had a lot of fun together and she felt they could give so much to each other. They would fit it all together, somehow, even though they were from different continents, she was an adventurer and he was going to be a success in his life, they would somehow manage that.

   Thomas was still feeling bad about Alice. It could’ve been such a great start to his trip abroad, and now it was just wrecking his mood. Besides, he couldn’t understand why she had done what she had done. He would’ve wanted to do the same, find a girl, maybe Nana if she wasn’t too serious with that Wayne, or maybe someone else, and make the world know that he could go on. But the fact was, he couldn’t. He was dancing, he was drinking, and he just hoped he wouldn’t start crying.

  Nana was in love with Wayne, that was clear. It had definitely crossed her mind more than once, after she had agreed to go with Hannah, whether they would ever meet again. She was sad, really, really sad, but on the other hand also in a way relieved. She was afraid she would start feeling too much for this boy, who could, with a day’s notice, leave her and go back home to the other side of the world. It would be too much. She would have to go before it would start to be way too much. But just for tonight she would dance and be happy and love Wayne with all her positive emotions.

   “Hannah!” John went to interrupt the dancing group. “Do you think we have enough drinks? I think we should go get some more”

   “There is none anywhere…” Nana started, but Hannah was nodding enthusiastically.

   “I think that’s a great idea”, she started walking towards the nearest shopping street looking a little unstable. John took her arm to keep her from falling down.

   “I can manage!” Hannah laughed and turned at him. There was a moment of hesitation, but then John resolutely pulled her forward out of the way of the others. Somehow they managed to get to the street. John started getting out his id and money.

   “You know, we did buy all the alcohol from the area, we won’t need and we won’t get no more from anywhere”, Hannah stammered.

   “Oh. Yeah. I knew, I just… I got caught with my own excuse. He started putting his id back to his pocket, but Hannah interrupted him.

   “Let me see!” She went through his passport and stopped on the page with the photo and the information. “Oh my god. Are you actually John Smith? No way” Se laughed and lost her balance. John caught her.

   “Yeah, why?”

   “Because… Oh my god, I can’t believe this! Because I’m actually not Hannah, my whole name is Pocahontas, my hippie parents wanted to call me that. So we’re direct from history or a Disney movie”

   “No way you’re actually Pocahontas, what sort of name is that? I want to see your passport”

   “I don’t have it with me, but I’ll show it one day. You should believe me, though”

   “Why should I believe you?”

   “Because I tell nothing but the truth, ever”

   “That’s impressive” John had led them to an empty side street. “So, what do you actually think about me?”

   “John…”

   “No lies, it was, right?”

   “Fuck you”

   “Is that what you think? Why did you come with me, then?”

   “You don’t get me. I like you, in fact I think I’m obsessed with you, and yes, I do want to fuck you, that’s a truth. This whole thing would worry me a lot, if I wasn’t this drunk”

   “Hannah…”

   “Are we getting to the phase with lustful sighs or are you going to grant me my wish? Your room, mine or the beach?”

   “You, gosh Hannah, are you sure this is a good idea?”

   “John, live! We can worry about it later. Like in the car, tomorrow, with the hangover”

   “But, Hannah…”

   “If you’re not going to fuck me, I’m going back. See, I’m going back”

   John tried to stop her, but she was on her way already, decidedly walking towards the party.

   “Hannah, I want to talk to you, it’s not that I don’t want to, you know, have sex with you, but I want to talk with you first, I want this to last longer and be more than just sex, you’re wonderful…”

   Hannah kept walking without turning around.

   Meanwhile Thomas had lost his hopes about Nana while watching him and Wayne dance, kiss, dance and kiss in their own world without noticing anything else around them. Nana was happier than ever, she was drunk, she was with a gorgeous man who clearly liked her, more than liked her, adored her and wanted her. For once someone was there when she left, desperately wanting her to stay.

   “Wayne, do you love me?” she asked, in a flirtatious tone, though she was eager to hear the answer.

   Wayne was surprised by the question. And yet, this was the perfect moment for his plan to come true. He was afraid, but he wouldn’t be able to do that at any other point. He glanced around quick and saw Hannah followed by John arriving back to the area. It was the perfect moment. He cleared his throat.

   “Nana… I’m trying not to sound like a cliché, but I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve told girls before that I love them”, why did I say that, he thought to himself, “but I don’t think I’ve ever been meant it until now. I love you. I love you and I want to share my life with you, I can’t stand the idea of losing you. I know you’re going, I’m not happy about it, but you could go anywhere you wanted if I knew that somehow you’ll end up with me again. So I got this idea, and man, I’m so afraid I’ll get rejected but I’ll have to say this now. Nana, you lovely woman, will you marry me?”

   There should’ve been an awkward silence, but apparently most of the party-goers had noticed nothing. The only people that realised what was going on were Hannah and John, now standing with their jaws open and waiting for the answer seeming exactly as impatient as Wayne, who was looking like he could explode.

   Nana said nothing for a while. She had suddenly perfectly sobered up. She tried to think clearly. Why had Wayne destroyed the mood she was in? Should she be happy? This would be an important decision, and she couldn’t believe he had asked this in front of everyone and terribly drunk. At least she thought he was drunk.

   “Are you drunk, Wayne?”

   “Answer me. Please”

   “I have to know my facts. Are you drunk? Would you even slightly consider saying something like this if you were sober?”

   “You asked me if I loved you. I do”

   “It’s not the same thing. This is a big decision, here, and you’re drunk”

   “Nana…” he took her by her hands, “I know I’m drunk, but I’m also serious. I can’t imagine my life without you anymore, okay? And this might be my last chance to say that to you. I’m scared, you might find a man and I don’t think I could live with that”

   “Wayne…”

   “Please, Nana”

   “I love you. I love you so much”

   “Then say yes”

   “I can’t answer that right now. Don’t you realise this is the worst timing?”

   Wayne turned around hanging his head. Hannah ran to Nana.

   “I think we need to talk. Now”

   They walked together towards the hostel from the beach. It was clear they didn’t want to be followed.

   “We’re not good at this, don’t you think?” John said to Wayne. He smiled unhappily as an answer.

   “No, I think we are not. Not with those two beautiful girls, who could just walk away anytime and laugh at us”

   The party mood was over from both of the boys. This was the point Thomas decided to start crying.

   “What’s wrong, Thomas?” John was right by his side.

   “It’s not that Alice would’ve been the girl of my dreams, I mean, I barely knew her, and, I don’t know… But I can’t be happy about this, not about anything, because she’s there, ruining my mood, I can see her with that horrible man… Why just in the beginning of a trip? Why now? I’m afraid it’ll set the whole mood of this year, and I can’t go home, and I’m just going to hate her and this and it’s a year wasted!”

   “It’s not like that, Thomas. It might take time, but you’ll get rid of her, at some point. It just takes time”

   “But I don’t want it to take time! I want to be happy, and forget, and not to think about her the whole time!”

   “Life doesn’t work that way, Thomas. You’ll have to take the opportunities that are given to you. Sometimes life works, sometimes it doesn’t, but that’s just how it goes”

   “But why now? Why for me?”

   “I don’t know, Thomas, I’m sorry. There, there, just cry. It’ll be fine”

   Meanwhile, the girls had made it to their room, which was empty with both of the others being at the party.

   “So, Wayne proposed and you said no. Can you explain?” Hannah started.

   “I don’t know where it came from! First we were having fun, just like usually, and the next thing he’s there asking me to marry him. I asked him if he loved me, but I wasn’t even sure what the answer was going to be, and next he’s there asking me to be his forever! He’s way too drunk to be taken seriously, that’s for sure”

   “I think I’ve missed a lot, since I haven’t actually heard it from you that you are seeing each other”

   “Well, we’ve been seeing each other, for about a week now! Isn’t it ridiculous? It’s been three weeks since we met and a week since that one party, where you and that guy with the locks hooked up and me and Wayne sort of found each other. I mean, it’s been good, he’s good and I like him and all that, and obviously we’ve known each other for a longer period of time…”

   “Have you?”

   “I never told you? We met back when I was a high school kid, went for a road trip with couple of my friends and he was on one of the campgrounds we stayed at. It was all innocent, we kissed but that was it, then we for some reason stayed in touch for all these years, seeing each other once in a while, but this is the first time since that campground evening that we’ve been more than friends. With what logic has he decided I’m the right for him? I barely know that side of him”

   “Still you said you love him?”

   “Yeah, well, during the years there have been moments… I mean, I’ve been thinking how great it would be if we’d be a couple, how perfect we would be for each other. And now that we’ve been together, it’s been like that. But, you know, it’s a dream I’ve built up myself, and the beginning of a relationship, and there’s a lot I don’t know about him yet, and I’m just not a committed type of person!”

   “I think you’re right, he’s a bit early. But maybe he’s been thinking about you too, all these years, and feels like the connection has been building up. Could you guys keep up the relationship, maybe not get married but be committed? I mean, would you like to be with someone else?”

   “No! But… I don’t like commitments”

   “But what difference does it make, if he’s the only person you want to be with?”

   “I… I don’t know. I really, really am too drunk and too tired to really think about this”

   “It’s okay, sweetheart”

   “So, what’s with you and John, then? You stormed back after you had been away mere minutes”, Nana asked after a while of silence.

   “Ah, I have no idea. First we were having fun and then… I think he wants more than just sex…”

   “I told you that in the first place”, Nana interrupted.

   “And I really don’t know what I want. I’m more obsessed with him than I’ve ever been with anyone, Hannah. I can’t get him out of my mind, I can’t sleep, I want to hear his voice and be with him. On the other hand, I’m sure it won’t work. He’s going to be brilliant, and what am I? An old hippie with her future dependant on a slimy Swedish man”

   “You make yourself sound miserable. It’s not like that, I’d say it’s even the other way round. He’s just a first class idiot with a rather sweet smile and a random ideology where you are a full-grown woman who knows her limits and knows the meaning of life is to be happy”

   “But if it’s not that? I feel that when I’ll look back, if I’ll only see partying, men that change every night and part-time jobs, I’ll feel I spent a lifetime doing nothing. I don’t want that to happen, Nana. I don’t want to be miserable about my life”

   “That’s why you should let Karl market your paintings. You’re good in that, that could be your success”

   “Karl? I’m pretty sure he’s after all the benefits he thinks he gets as a patron. If I don’t become his cute little slave, he’ll stop supporting my artistic pursuits rightaway”

   “And then you’ll find a new one. You’ll manage, Hannah, you are already further in your life than most of the people get during their lifetimes”

   “What do you mean? I’ve got no education, no nothing”

   “You have lived. That’s more than most people can say”

   “Geez, Nana, you’re such a cliché”

   They both laughed. It was the tired, still drunken laughter, but it was relieving after what they had gone through before this.

   “Do you think we should get back?”

   “I guess, at least to say good bye. It is our party after all”  

   They went just to find out that the party was still going with full speed, but that the group of people that was closest to them had all gathered serious-looking further of the others. They saw John, Thomas, Wayne and Greg there, hanging their heads and looking miserable. They said goodbye to the others before resoluting to go there as well and try to make up with them before going to bed. They were, after all leaving, and leaving some of these people behind for a long time.

   “What’s wrong with Thomas?” Hannah asked generally as she approached.

   “He’s had problems with a girl”, John answered, “like most of us”

   “John… Can we talk?”

   “Not now. But I’ll be coming to St. Louis anyway, so maybe on the way”

   “Okay. I just hope you’re not mad. I didn’t want to make you mad”

   “Don’t worry, okay?”

   Nana approached Wayne.

   “Wayne? Can I talk to you? I don’t want to leave like this”

   Wayne thought about it for a bit before deciding he would just create bad feelings for everyone including himself if he wouldn’t accept the offer. They moved further away.

   “I’ve been thinking… I’m sorry, I can’t marry you, not now. It’s been too short a time, you must understand it yourself as well”

   “I know, I was stupid, I shouldn’t have fallen for you”

   “No! Don’t say that. What I meant to say was that I’ve dreamed about you once in a while for the past years, and this has been a dream come true, and I’ve been so happy with you that I feel I could continue like this forever”

   “But”

   “But we’ve only been a couple, a real couple, for little over a week. It’s not enough. However, I’m not enthusiastic about losing you either. What would you think if we’d just keep this relationship as it is? I mean, I’m not extremely fond of long-distance, but I think it could work, we could make it work. I don’t want to break up with you, Wayne, nor be with anyone else”

   “Nana…”
   “Please. I love you, Wayne, I think I’ve loved you for years now”

   “I love you, Nana. And I agree. Let’s try to keep it up. But I’ll be devastated if you’ll leave me with a text or something because of some dickhead who just happens to be around when I’m not”

   “I won’t. Promise me you won’t run after every pretty babe on the beach… or any of them, preferably”

   “It’s a deal. Now, kiss me, okay?”

   They kissed. The night was definitely done for all of them, so they went to bed, Nana and Wayne to the same one and everyone else to their own, though John was regretting his decision a bit. Why couldn’t he just have fun?

 

Words: 18533

    Thomas and John showed up on breakfast the following morning. Nana was her usual self, happy and at the same time secretly trying to fish for information about what had happened with John and Hannah. Why hadn’t he come to her? Was he more aware of the ways of the world than they had thought? She included Thomas in her curiosity, this young and cute guy that seemed to be in many ways more experienced than John, but whom John still seemed to treat as a little brother.

   “So where do you guys know each other?” she asked, while they were eating their toasts.

   “We met on a plane here, I mean to Los Angeles. I stayed there a while longer than John”

   “What did you see? Did you go to the mountains?”

   “Haha, no. We were supposed to, but we were both too hangover to actually go. Had quite an exciting night on a beach on our first day there”

   “Oh, how?”

   “I’ll tell you later, I need to get more coffee” Thomas left the table. Nana gestured to John who answered quietly.

   “Girl problems. Sensitive thing.”

   “Ah. Okay”

   “So, what are you guys doing today? The beach?”

   “We might actually go downtown. Hannah is meeting Karl to discuss the gallery plan”

   “Oh, so she is seriously going with that old…” John was interrupted by Hannah, who was walking towards their table.

   “Morning, Nana, John” Hannah had given a lot of thought on how she would act towards John. For a while she had thought about ignoring him, but that felt too much like attention, even if negative. Instead she had decided to act as if they were nothing special, if the night had never happened and if she really didn’t care whether he was there or not.

   “Morning. We were just talking about you going to see Karl. Are you excited?”

   “Actually I am. It’s the opportunity of my life, after all”, she lied. He wouldn’t be given the right to see her inner struggle about this whole Karl thing.

   “That’s good, then. Where are you meeting?”

   “In a café, downtown. You won’t know the place”

   Meanwhile, Thomas had come back with his coffee. After briefly introducing each other Hannah asked Thomas what they were going to do after breakfast.

   “I think we thought we’d go downtown. I got enough of beaches for a while in Los Angeles. What about you?”

   She couldn’t change her story at this point, so Hannah had to admit that was their plan as well. Thomas was happy about it, because now they could go together, Hannah and Nana could show them at least the way if not also accompany them during the shopping. There was no turning down Thomas’s plan, so they agreed to meet in about half an hour in front of the hostel.

   They left, a loud group of people, on a bus towards the city centre. Thomas was on fire, talking with both of the girls, making them laugh with his funny remarks and his childlike enthusiasm. John was more quiet – next to Thomas he felt like he was an awkward chatter, and since he couldn’t talk to Hannah alone which was actually all he wanted, he decided to say nothing. He looked out of the window and tried to enjoy the landscape.

   They left the bus in front of a big shopping centre. Hannah headed immediately up with a hasty goodbye saying she was already late. The others started from the bottom floors, going through the various shops that interested each of their taste. Nana soon decided to go by herself, telling them she didn’t want to bore them with all the girl shops she wanted to visit. They decided to meet downstairs after a while.

   Thomas and John were soon done. Because there was still time before they were to meet Nana, and because John wanted to see how Hannah’s discussion was progressing, they decided to go for a coffee in one of the cafés upstairs. They sat at a table where John had clear sight to Hannah, who was facing away from him. They were too far to hear, but it was clear from their body language that Karl was persuading Hannah to do something and Hannah seemed reluctant but slowly giving up. John didn’t like what he saw – he was still pretty sure that what Karl wanted in the first place was Hannah, not her art, and that Hannah would break if he would get his mind. He didn’t actually know why he felt that way; from all he had seen, Hannah could be the strongest person he knew. But there was something vulnerable in her as well, had to be, and he had seen a tiny glimpse of that when she had fallen asleep in his arms on that beach. He didn’t want her to get hurt.

   Thomas looked at the time and realised it was already late and that they should get down to meet Nana. John left with a long glance towards Hannah and Karl. While he was looking, Hannah seemed to sense something and turned around to see them leave. John cursed himself for letting her see him looking at her. She must think he was not able of being casual. He hoped it would not affect the way she acted with him.

   They all agreed they had had enough of shopping. Nana suggested they’d go grab some lunch before returning to the hostel and the suggestion was met with happy acceptance as the boys realised just how hungry they were. While they were deciding the best lunch restaurant, Hannah sent Nana a message asking where they were. She joined them for the lunch, though she barely ate anything, she had eaten at the café.

   “How was your discussion? Did you decide on something?” Nana interrogated.

   “Well, he said he’d call a friend of his in St. Louis and send pictures of my paintings, and if he’s even slightly interested we’ll start driving there tomorrow with the real ones to see what he says”

   “To St. Louis? With that guy?” John said before he could help himself. Nana and Thomas saved him from being heard by bursting out at the same time.

   “Congratulations!” Thomas said smiling genuinely.

   “I’ll come with you, you can’t go with only him. Who knows what can happen”, Nana said.

   “Thanks for your offer, we’ll have to see what the guy with the gallery says first though”

   “I’m sure he can’t resist your paintings once he sees even a photo of them, and if he can for some reason, I’m pretty sure Karl can persuade him”

   “Especially when his chance to conquer you on the way there depends on it”, John thought.

   They left the centre together to go back to the hostel. They all agreed it was time for some afternoon beach, and went to change to their rooms before heading over. They finally managed to play beach volley, and to everyone’s surprise pretty evenly, it was found out that Thomas was actually pretty good in it which compensated with John’s being pathetic. Afterwards Hannah, John and Thomas headed for a swim, while Nana stayed reading at the beach. Thomas left soon as well, leaving John and Hannah splashing and laughing together. John had given up his social restraint – it was hard to keep that up with someone constantly splashing water and laughing at you – and Hannah had forgotten how complicated this relationship had been just a few hours ago. This was a new side of John, this playful, funny and also athletic person in front of her, and she liked him more than she had so far.

   The splashing stopped at some point and they started floating in the still, warm water. John was the first to talk.

   “I know I promised not to interfere to your business again, but are you sure about what you are doing with that Karl? I trust you, and if you know what you’re doing, I’ll believe that”

   “I am sure. Or to be honest, no, I’m not sure, I’m not sure whether I want a gallery at all, whether I want to have an old Swedish guy as my patron, whether he actually only wants my art as he always assures me. I’m not sure. But I guess I want to find out. That’s what life is, right? Taking your chances”

   “I guess”

   “I mean, I like my life, but I’ve started to think whether there should be something more. Some goals or something. Right now I’m just floating. I’m happy, but is that enough? I think I want to try this to find out if I could actually make art for living”

   “I just hope you will be fine”

   “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine, I’m always fine” Suddenly Hannah’s defences had got back on, leaving John amazed by the little break in the wall around her vulnerability he had seen. She laughed. “So what’s going on with you and Thomas, are you dating him?”

   “No! No, we’re just friends, I met him on the plane here, he’s such a small boy, I feel I have to take care of him”

   “Remember you don’t have to take care of all the world. It survives without you. However much it enjoys your company”

   “It does? Enough to take me with to St. Louis? I feel I should move on soon”

   “Who knows? Ask again when I know whether I’m actually going and when you’ve proved yourself worthy”

   “Yes, Your Majesty. Does Your Majesty need more sunscreen on her back?”

   “She might. We can go back to the beach to find out”, she moved towards the beach. Suddenly John grabbed her arm as if planning to pull her closer, but gave it up then just as fast. She had no idea what that was about.

   Thomas watched as John and Hannah were playing in the water, seeing the spark John thought he had managed to hide from the younger boy. He turned to Nana, who was reading a book, something on business, which surprised him.

   “What’s that?”

   Nana took one of her headphones off and looked at Thomas, who repeated the question.

   “Oh, it’s one of the pre-readings I should do for one of my next year courses. I want to find out whether I want to take that course or not”

   “What do you study?”

   “Business. Third year”

   “You don’t look like that”

   “I take that as a compliment”

   “It is”, Thomas laughed. “Do you know if John and Hannah are, you know, a thing?”

   “I know nothing more than what you can see here. He hasn’t talked to you?”

   “No, I guess he thinks I’m too sensitive. I had this one girl in Los Angeles, didn’t work out, it was a blow”

   “Ah, I’m sorry”

   “Don’t worry. We knew each other for two days or so, I guess it shouldn’t be that bad”

   “It’s not always about that. I don’t think I’ve ever worried about Hannah falling in love this bad, and they’ve known each other for what? Two and a half days?”

   “Really? Is it that bad? How can you say?”

   “I don’t know, to be honest. It’s just that it would be just Hannah’s thing to completely fall in love with someone so much not her type. And your John seems to be a serious person. Maybe he’ll find the serious side of Hannah, make her become serious, seriously attached to him”

   “I wouldn’t worry too much. I’m sure it won’t be long before we’ll head to separate directions and they will never see each other again”

   “Yeah. If Hannah is going to St. Louis tomorrow, that’ll be it”

   “Exactly”

   John and Hannah came out of the ocean chatting and completely at ease. The afternoon became an evening, Wayne and Greg joined them at some point. They were all in the middle of a conversation about vegetarianism, when suddenly Hannah’s phone rang.

   “It’s Karl!” she hushed everyone else to be quiet. “Hi… Yeah. That’s really cool. For how many? Sounds good, I’ll ask. Yes. Ten-ish? Great. See you then! Bye!”

   Hannah put down the phone and was quiet for a while. Everyone else stared at her, expecting her to explain.

   “So?” Nana was finally the one who broke the silence.

   “So I’m heading to St. Louis tomorrow at ten in a car that fits Karl, me and three others, who feels like moving on? I want you guys with me there”

   “Haha! I’m coming, enough of the coast for me!” Nana laughed and hugged Hannah.

   “Thomas? I could go, do you want to come?” John looked at his friend.

   “Hey! You can’t decide this stuff before I’ve answered, I know her more than either of you boys!” Greg said, but he was smiling.

   “Aren’t you stuck here?” Nana asked, “In the hostel? Both of you, right?”

   “Well, technically not, but I guess if all of you want to go we should let Nana and the foreigners first. We can go by ourselves some other time”

   “St. Louis would be so cool! Let’s go!” Thomas got excited.

   “It’s decided then. Tomorrow at ten, he’ll pick us up. To be honest“, she grinned, “I think he meant I could take Nana with me and won’t be happy if I’m bringing boys. But, it’s his problem”

   Nana and Thomas shared a worried look as John and Hannah were poking each other with some inside joke. Wayne and Greg shrugged at each other. These new boys, they had messed up the girls’ minds in the past two days, they couldn’t keep up anymore. Wayne planned to find out something during the following night, as well as say such a goodbye to Nana she would never forget, and keeping that in mind he suggested a party for the night.

   “It’s your last night here, Hannah and Nana, we’ve got so used to you! We need to celebrate that and a good hangover for tomorrow to make us forget the fact that you’re going away”

   “Of course! We need to go shopping! Alcohol! And food! It’s going to be the night of the year!” Nana said, jumping up.

   “The night we’ll never forget!” Thomas followed Nana.

   “Or will forget before tomorrow morning”, Wayne laughed, making everyone else laugh heartily. 

John woke up and for a while didn’t remember where he was. He was cold and uncomfortable, felt sand all over himself. He opened his eyes and saw the sky, and remembered. But Hannah was not there, she must’ve sneaked out while he was still sleeping. Probably regretted what had happened. John did not regret, right now it felt like it had been the greatest night of his life. The only thing that was wrong was that he couldn’t wake up holding that beautiful girl.

   A shadow passed him. He looked to his left and saw a man with a dog walk by less than ten feet away from him, looking at him with a knowing smile. Only then did he realise it was full day and the sun was shining and he was lying there naked for all the world to see. All his clothes were soaking wet in a pile next to him. Great. He pulled them on, shivering from the cold while doing that. When he was leaving he noticed something had been written to the ground. It was four words, carefully carved to the sand far away enough from the waterline so that they wouldn’t be washed off by a wave.

   This Is My Life.

   Hannah had woken up by her inner alarm and left to cook breakfast, leaving the boy to experience a blow to his dignity. He would learn it’s not so important. She had glanced at him before she left and felt a surge of a gentle feeling rush through her. This guy who was so proud yet so vulnerable, so inexperienced yet so able and good-bodied, and so aware of the decisions that had made him who he was, just like she knew herself. She knew she had blown his mind and knew he would search for her later, and she was happy about that. Now that she could see the weakness within, he was actually quite charming.

   She went in and changed to dry clothes without running into anyone. She saw Nana was not sleeping in her bed and realised the night must’ve carried her and Wayne away just like it had carried away Hannah and John. It wasn’t surprising, they had had something coming for a long time already and Hannah was actually pretty sure this was not the first time. She was happy that this way Nana couldn’t have realised she hadn’t slept in her room, because for some reason she was afraid she might not appreciate her sleeping with John. Something was different with this guy than with all the earlier guys Nana had seen her with. Hannah knew there was something different, but she also knew she could handle it. Nana worried for nothing.

   Wayne and Nana woke up at the same time and lay in bed for a while before Nana urged they’d go get breakfast. Wayne tried to keep her in bed, but she resisted.

   “We have all the time in the world. We can come back. But I will never skip a free breakfast”

   The hostel breakfast was a significant ceremony, especially after nights like this. Everyone went there in order to see that everyone else was still around, and looked for signs of hook-ups, guilt or other interesting things that would only show for the vulnerable time of the morning. Nana knew this and she also knew that Hannah had left with John. Did they come back? it would be typical of Hannah to sleep with a person she had met on the same day, but poor, innocent John shouldn’t be dragged into this. And she wasn’t only worried about John. There was a danger that his innocence and his ignorance of the ways of this world would make Hannah more attached to him than she had been to the guys who were far more attractive but also knew the rules of no strings. Nana was fine with those guys, even though she once in a while tried to persuade Hannah to give up her habit of one night stands. This was, however, way worse: Hannah and John were from different worlds and their life together could never work.

   On her way to the kitchen Nana ran into John. His looks showed everything – he had sand in his hair and crumpled, wet clothes on. He looked a bit ashamed as he walked past Nana, barely lifting his glance into her eyes enough to show he had noticed her. Nana shook her head and walked to the kitchen, which was already full of the normal buzz of the hostel guests with new experiences and way too little sleep. Hannah was cooking, as always, but she finished exactly when Nana made it to her. Nana had perfected her timing during these weeks.

   They took breakfast and coffee and sat to the table.

   “Do you want to talk now or later?” Nana confronted her friend right away.

   “Yeah, you were not sleeping in your bed last night, do you want to explain?” Hannah acted ignorant, but they both knew what Nana was talking about.

   “John is not a good idea. Not for you, not for him. You should tell him it was just that one night, before it gets too serious”

   “It’s not going to get too serious. I can handle my men, okay? Besides, you keep telling me I shouldn’t have one-night stands. Shouldn’t you be happy?”

   “He doesn’t know this world…”

   “…and he wanted to learn it, I just granted him his wish. And I like that boy”

   “That’s what I’m worried about. It’s different than usually, am I not right in that?”

   “Yes, it’s different. I know he’ll come seek me today, and I have nothing against it. The next night will be even better”

   John didn’t appear to the breakfast, which surprised both of the girls. After it they left to the beach, as usually, Hannah planning to paint and Nana with a copy of One Day, a relatively new cute novel. She didn’t return to Wayne, they had created this style of friends-during-the-day, lovers-during-the-night already a week ago when they had ended up together for the first time and it was working well so far. She saw Hannah was waiting for John to come to the beach, but he didn’t come. She didn’t understand what had happened – she had been just as sure as Hannah that John would come and get her, claiming his love or something else as stupid. But they didn’t see a glimpse of him.

   John had changed hic clothes as soon as he had made it to his room. He had planned to go to get breakfast when his phone rang. It was Thomas.

   “Can you come and meet me at the bus station? Right now? I don’t know what to do…” he sounded like he hadn’t slept during the whole night and John was sure he had been crying. He didn’t hesitate, Hannah could wait, she probably didn’t even want to see him anyway. Whereas Thomas, who already felt more like a little brother than someone he had met just a few days ago, was clearly in trouble.

   “What is it?” he asked when he saw Thomas sitting at the bus station with his backpack on the chair next to him.

   “Alice… I really liked her, you know? She is so cute, good-looking and a great person”

   “What did she do, then? She seemed to be so much into you”

   “I thought so too. But then… I had decided I’d come here, and I asked her if she would like to come as well, you know, for the rest of the time she’s here, before she would fly home. She got mad, I don’t know why. We left separately from the café we were in and when I went to the beach that night I saw her lying on the top of some big muscular Asian man, way older than her. We never had sex, but she was definitely planning to do that with that brute”

   “Then she just didn’t realise your worth”

   “I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I really, really liked her and wouldn’t have hurt her. He will do that, I’m sure”

   “Don’t worry about her, you owe her nothing”

   “Could we do something now, I’m fed up with women? Something that doesn’t include a beach, I don’t really want to lie on a beach and see all the couples”

   “Umm, I haven’t really done anything else here than been to the beach, you probably know better than me what there is to do”

   “There is supposed to be a really nice old town, could we go there?”

   “Sure. We need a bus, and do you want to drop your backpack to the hostel first”

   “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Thanks for doing this, I’m sure you’d have better company than me”

   John thought about Hannah but knew he shouldn’t mention her to Thomas. They would have to hate all the women in the world together for a while before Thomas could handle any positive romantic experiences. He wasn’t sure whether he even wanted to tell Thomas. He was pretty sure it would all come up to nothing and he didn’t want to hype it too much to anyone if it was not actually going to happen.

   They went to the hostel to see Nana and Hannah walking up from the beach at the same moment. John was just going to walk past them, but Hannah greeted him so happily he felt it was his duty to introduce the people.

   “Thomas, here are Nana and Hannah. Nana, Hannah, this is Thomas, my old friend, he’ll be staying here for a while as well” As coldly as possible he walked away from the girls to go to the reception with Thomas.

   “Now what was that?” Nana wondered.

   “I have no idea”, Hannah said. She felt disappointed. She had thought she had been an exciting, new person to John, and had thought he would like to continue their friendship and probably also renew the night they had experienced, but now he seemed he only just remembered who she was. She had, after all, already suffered for his sake. Karl had come to the beach and asked her about John.

   “So, do you like that arrogant British kid?”

   “Why? I like many people”

   “I don’t want you to fall for him. You’re so much more than he deserves”

   “I’m not falling for him, but even if I were, it wouldn’t really be your problem, would it?”

   “I only care for you and your art. That boy is going to put you in a mould and shape you to become as he wishes”

   “I can take care of myself, thank you. You’re not, after all, my father or anything”

   He had obviously been annoyed. Now Hannah regretted her words – if John didn’t want anything more to do with her, why should she give up her big chance, as Nana put it, for that boy?

   “I think I’ll call Karl. I’ll meet up with him tomorrow to discuss that gallery”

   “Finally”, Nana smiled. There was a chance this John-incident would become beneficial instead of disastrous she had apprehended. 

   John and Thomas had a good time exploring the beautiful, if a bit touristy, old town of San Diego. When they returned to the hostel it was already late and everyone had gone to the beach or to sleep. John was tired for the lack of sleep from the night before and Thomas was tired from the travelling and the grief, so they both decided to go to sleep immediately. For a while John lay awake thinking about Hannah. He knew he had acted the right way. Hannah was an adventurer, she wouldn’t want to renew anything they had done, probably she was already in the arms of some other man. The thought stung a bit but he just tried to ignore it.

   Hannah lay awake swearing to herself. Why didn’t she forget the way she always did? 

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That night the hostel people left to the beach, having a campfire of their own, amongst many that lit up the otherwise dark shore of the Pacific Ocean. It was a rather windy night so the sound of the waves held an undertone to all of the discussions, and the stars were bright above all these merry people. They were a big group, about 20 people. Karl was not there, obviously, and Hannah was happy about that. John, on the other hand kept hanging around in their group and annoyed her a bit by his presence. She felt she shouldn’t have given him the right to see her paintings, but it was too late to regret that. With his clever mockery towards Karl he had acquired the respect of Wayne and Greg, and he was mainly talking with them. She wasn’t really happy about the hatred the men kept towards Karl – she didn’t like him that much, but that was her right and only hers, the other people should’ve been neutral as it was none of their business.

   She was talking with another new hostel guest when he finally came to her.

   “Hi Hannah. How are you?”

   “Wonderful, thanks”, she answered and turned back to the other guy. He didn’t deserve her time.

   “I’m sorry if I’ve made you mad somehow. I didn’t mean to”, he didn’t let her go.

   “By mocking my way of living and telling me you know better what choices I should make in my life? A little bit”

   “I know it was wrong. But you’re wasting your time here! You have talent, that’s the only thing Karl is right about. You should be doing something with it”

   “Listen…” Hannah turned around to face John and by doing that turned her back to the rest of the group. This was something they had to go through. “You think I’m just an ignorant savage, do you? And you’ve achieved so many things already in your life, you have such great plans, I guess it is so. I’m just a savage, someone you need to change”

   “No, that’s not what I meant! But… Your potential…”

   “The thing I cannot see is that if I am the ignorant one, how can there be so much that you don’t know? Or understand. I mean, here we have you, with your degree and your rich parents and your privileged life. But are you happy? And can you understand anything that’s beyond your own circle of people? You think the only people who are worth something are the people who think like you and live like you, and the funny thing is, you don’t know what you lose when that’s all you know”

   Hannah had a break. John didn’t say anything, so she continued.

   “You look at my painting and say it’s beautiful, but all you think about is that someone would probably buy it. You count the money. Could you ever look at a piece of art and just admire it without thinking what it’s worth, art or a landscape or people? There’s a lot of things that are beautiful in this world which you don’t have to pay for and you don’t have to be influential and important to admire. Have you ever listened to the voices of a desert on a star-lit night when there’s no people within the next hundred miles anywhere? Gone skinny-dipping in the ice-cold water of a river without worrying how it might affect your dignity in the eyes of others? Can you look at the mountains and see them, really see them, and paint them with the colours of the wind that you can see if you look hard enough? You can be the great hero of the world, basically own it and rule it with your power, and all you’ll own is mere sand on your palm unless you can really see beauty that’s all around you”

   John kept staring at her.

   “It’s that simple. You can run the hidden pine trails of the forest, enjoy every moment of it, run until you’re out of your breath and fall down and be connected with the rest of the world. Or you can collect money, become influential, and what does that leave you with? Money and influence. Is that happiness? Maybe for someone, but not for me”

   Hannah stood up and started walking away. It took a while before John could react fast enough to run after her.

   “Show me your life. I want to experience it”

   Hannah looked at him, surprised. Then she started running with all her energy next to the shoreline. John followed, understanding this was not an escape but an invite.  

   John was totally out of his breath before Hannah finally fell to the ground, far from anyone else. He fell next to her, wondering what would happen next and at the same time trying not to think about nothing but the present. Hannah started throwing sand on his legs, apparently burying him. He was too tired to care.

   “Tell me about yourself”, Hannah asked, more gently than he had ever heard her speak.

   “I want the world to be a better place. I was raised to think that politics is the way to change the way everything works. I did not want to come to the States in the first place, my parents made me. I wanted to be useful. I want to be useful. I guess that’s the biggest thing that drives me”

   “Have you ever been in love?”

   “There has been… girls… but it’s always been a bit awkward, I haven’t been able to actually give myself to it, I’ve always needed the independence and felt they’d become a burden on my way to victory if I’d let them in. It has never become anything serious”

   “Do you want the victory because you want to be important or because you care about the people you’re trying to help?” Hannah had buried his legs completely and continued to his stomach and chest.

   “I’ve always told myself I want the best for the people, but I guess it’s a bit of both. I want to show my parents I’m worth all the investments they’ve paid to get me educated. I want to be interesting. I’m not artistic, I’m not creative, I’m not exciting in anyway. If I changed the world, I could become worthy of the love of my parents and worthy to be here, in this world, where everything is possible and it would be a shame to leave the possibilities unused”

   “Funny, that’s what I tell myself, that I should grab the opportunities I have. To enjoy, not to stress too much, to be happy and go wherever I want to without too many worries”

   “That sounds so much better than just getting influence. But the happiest moments of my life have been when I have been of use to someone, been able to make someone else’s life a little bit better than it would’ve been without me. That’s what I hoped to do here”, he said bitterly, “until I realised I am the fool and all the learning should be done by me. I am not worthy of preaching to anyone”

   Hannah had finished burying him, his head was pointing out of a great pile of sand that was the rest of his body. “I don’t think so. You are better than you think you are. I thought you’re just too fond of yourself to appreciate anyone else. But you’re actually concerned about other people’s wellbeing. You are bad in showing it, but you really do care”

   “I try to show it…”

   “And all that comes out is arrogance and pride”

   “I’m sorry…”

   “No, I’m sorry. For you. You’re misunderstood by most of the people. It’s sad”

   For a while they were there, John buried under the sand, Hannah sitting next to him, staring to the distance. Then she suddenly jumped up.

   “Come on, let’s go for a swim!”

   “What, no, it’s cold, I’ve got my clothes on…”

   “You said you want to experience my life, come on!”

   She ran all her clothes on to the water. It was cold but refreshing. She laughed out loud and splashed towards John who had made it halfway and was walking slowly towards her. She grabbed him and dragged him under the water.

   “Cold!” he gasped when he got his head back above the water.

   “But fucking alive!” She laughed and grabbed his waist, left bare by the loose t-shirt that was floating in the water, with her surprisingly strong grip. She kissed him violently. He answered, grabbing her to feel the warmth of her body in the cold water. For a second he tried to reason that this was probably not a good idea, but the heated body and the willing lips of this wonderful child of the wild made him forget everything. They walked back to the beach that was empty and dark with the lights of the campfires barely visible far away. They tore away their wet, cold clothes and fell to the ground, shaking from the cold and seeking the warmth of each other. The night passed with their sandy bodies pressed against each other.

John woke up late that morning. Luckily he had his alarm set and since he had always been used to waking up direct to it, it didn’t fail this time either. He took a new neatly folded shirt from his suitcase before he remembered he hadn’t taken a shower last night. He looked at the time and realised he had to choose between shower and breakfast. He stood there the shirt in his hand until he finally decided that this would be exactly that kind of joining the masses he had needed. A bit disgusted, he put the shirt on and ran downstairs.

He entered the kitchen and saw that it was almost full of noisy, colourful people who seemed to all know each other and the place extremely well. He looked around a bit confused. After a while he spotted a pile of pancakes on one of the side tables and toasts next to it, which only left him in the need of a plate. He looked around – everyone else seemed to have one, so it wasn’t just a hostel habit to eat without one. He started walking around hoping he made an impression of knowing what’s going on while he let his gaze wander hoping it would catch the plates and the cutlery. How did all these people understand what’s going on?

A beautiful girl walked in, her hair still wet from a shower, or maybe she had gone for a morning swim. John didn’t know. Either way, she looked a lot fresher than himself or anyone else in the room. She walked directly to the kitchen, opened a cupboard and took a plate out of it. John thanked her silently in his mind and followed her. With his new-found plate and the cutlery that were in a drawer below the plates he went to the pancake table where the girl was waiting for her toasts. There was a little bit of awkward moving around when he took the toast, put it into the toaster and prepared himself pancakes.

   “Hey, have I met you before? Did I just pass you, didn’t mean to?” the girl asked smiling.

   “No, and no, I was… just looking”, John tried to keep his dignity, but she laughed.

   “Oh, are you new here? I thought you looked a bit lost. For future reference, it’s usually the cupboard that says ‘plates’”, she winked.

   “No, no… Or yeah, I guess. I’m not really used to this hostel thing”, John admitted. “I haven’t really done that much travelling. I’m a student. I study politics” Where had he lost his smoothness, it had still worked in Los Angeles? This was totally outside his comfort area, and it was a new feeling for him.

   “Oh, you are? That’s cool. And what’s your name?” Somehow John felt she was still laughing at him.

   “Oh, sorry. John. And you are?”

   “My name is Nana”

   “And are you… American? Of course you are”

   “Yeah, my mother is from the Philippines though. You’re English, right? From somewhere posh?”

   “Uh, I guess. Oxford”

   “Touché, haha. Do you want to sit down? Looks like your toasts are ready”

   “Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry, I just…” he took his toasts out of the toaster and quickly started buttering them. Meanwhile Nana was apparently trying to catch someone’s eye in the kitchen.

   “Hannah! Are you done? We got ourselves a new friend, he’s John from Oxford, a politics student”

   “No politics before breakfast! But I’m done, coming that way!”

John turned around expecting another beautiful, funny, fresh girl to pop out from the kitchen. Instead he saw a short girl, stained with what he assumed was pancake dough, her hair on messy dreadlocks and her clothes just a little bit too baggy to make her look anything else than uncivilised. He relaxed – if the other girl would have been like Nana, he would have been seriously worried about his dignity. But when this girl was around, he knew he could feel superior and he was happy about that. Back to the normal state of things.

They sat to have breakfast at a corner of an otherwise crowded table. Hannah smiled at him and offered her hand after wiping it carelessly to her trousers.

   “Hello, John. My name is Hannah. Are you going to ask next whether we voted for Obama? Because I did not”, she said with a mocking-serious tone before bursting to a smile that lit her whole face. For a moment John was dazzled by the direct way she had started, and after that by her answer.

   “So who did you vote for then?” he asked after a while of silence.

   “No-one. I was surfing. Didn’t want to miss the great waves that day”

   “You know it’s your right and duty to vote? That you can’t complain because you didn’t use your right to choose?” John felt like he was starting to preach, but he couldn’t just let this ignorance be. And wasn’t this why he was here? To teach these ignorant people how to take an interest? He might as well start with this one.

   “And you won’t hear me complaining. And they were actually great waves, really great. Now let’s drop this, okay? I knew you’d come up with it at some point, and I didn’t want to ruin any great night with it. I don’t take an interest in politics. We just have to resolve that between us. We have the love for travelling anyway. Where have you been?”

   “Actually, I’m not really fond of travelling. It seems like a waste of time and energy, if it’s done just for fun. This is the first time I’m travelling by myself”

   “Maybe that’s the reason why you don’t love it yet, it becomes better and betters. Broadens your mind, they say. And who knows, you might learn to be happy about what you have and not to worry too much about what the big people all the way up there do”

   “But it matters! I mean, for you guys as well. They might make it harder to travel… Or less safe, or more expensive. What would you do then?”

   “We’d survive. We’d figure out new ways to go, travel with someone, or stay somewhere and be happy. It’s still better than a life when all you do is stress about politics”

   “Yeah, and that’s why we have the politics to care about that for you. All you need to do is to find someone who thinks like you do, appreciates the same thing, and vote for him or her”

   “But oh, then there’s another election and another one, always a new one coming up. And besides, the people who think like me are out there having fun. They are not sitting there thinking about whether there should be two millions more for the students, or whether we should raise taxation”

   “But that just makes it more important to you to create an interest in these things, because otherwise no-one stands there for your rights”

   “Well, you know, my wages are too small for the taxation to actually matter, but I get enough so that I don’t actually need support, I’ve been trained to survive by myself, and if I get sick, my friend takes a look at me, he’s a doctor. Can we now drop the subject, I want to start eating my pancakes, they are getting cold and I need to go wash soon”

   “Do you work… here?”

   “Temporarily, for my accommodation. I like cooking and I like early mornings, so it doesn’t actually matter. Do you like my pancakes?”

   “No-one can not love your pancakes, Hannah”, Nana joined the conversation she had been listening.

   “Yeah, they are good. But, I mean, if you work here temporarily, what do you do permanently? Do you study or work or what?”

  “You know, this and that. I wasn’t really made to study, so I go around, do things, travel, look around. Nothing specific. I think after this I’ll try to find some conservation work. I did that for a while with my mother”

   “But that’s not real life! I mean, don’t your parents worry about you not having a direction to your life?”

   “Ohh, no, they are hippies, they wouldn’t care. They want me to enjoy, that’s all. Enjoy life. I’m sure yours are expecting great things of you”

   “Yes, they are, and I’m expecting great things of myself as well”

   “The better for you”

   John didn’t know what to answer to that, so he just sat there, eating his pancakes, while Hannah was eating hers. Nana was slowly sipping her coffee and smiling at them both.

   “So, John, how long are you going to stay here in San Diego? Before you continue your travels or return to university?”

   “Well, I can’t return home until after half a year or so, I don’t really have a plan on how to proceed from here. I’ll stay at least a week, I think. Then I had thought about renting a car and heading to the east, maybe Arizona and then New Mexico”

   “Oh, sounds good”, Nana answered. At the same time she hoped they wouldn’t meet too often. She could see the spark of annoyance in her friend’s eyes, and by what had happened before she could say there was a great chance this would lead to something else. She also knew Karl wouldn’t appreciate Hannah’s hooking up seriously with anyone if he was to be her patron. Karl was in Nana’s eyes Hannah’s great chance that shouldn’t be ruined.

   Hannah finished her breakfast.

   “Anyway, nice meeting you John, maybe we’ll see each other again and so on. I’m off to the beach. Nana, you coming? I’ll just do the dishes”

   “Sure. Ask the boys for volleyball. And”, she realised they were being rude, “if you want to come, John, you’re welcome. It’s beach volley, just outside the hostel”

   “Oh, yeah, why not. I’ll just, uh, go to my room and check my mails, I’ll come after that. You guys start without me”

   Nana waited carefully until John was out of reach and sighed. This could become bad.

   Meanwhile, John walked into his room. He didn’t really need to check his mails but he hadn’t wanted to seem too eager. However, he really didn’t have anything else to do nor he did know anyone besides Nana and Hannah. This could be his chance to meet other people, by joining the activities of the hostel people.

   Duly following his excuse he opened his computer and clicked on the mail program he used for his personal mail. After deleting the spam there was still three e-mails. One was from his former classmate, who was excited about the start of his master’s programme and told John how sorry he was that he couldn’t be there with all of them. That bastard, he must’ve just been happy that there was less competition. He knew John was better than himself. The other e-mail was from his dad.

   Dear John, it started. How does your conquering the United States progress? Have you met any new people? If you feel lost, one of my friends from the UN is at the moment stationed in San Diego, so you can go and meet him. He can show you around in the city. It’s, after all, an old historic city, there should be a lot to see.

   His father’s e-mail annoyed John even more than the one from his classmate. He was offering his help! Like he wouldn’t survive one trip without him! He had achieved an A level undergraduate certificate from Oxford, he would survive perfectly well from half a year abroad by himself. The third mail was from Thomas. That one he opened with a positive feeling – this friend he had made with his own achievements only, and didn’t he look up to him? The mail proved to be just as cheering as he thought. Thomas wrote that he was also planning to come to San Diego, and could John possibly keep him company there, and tell him in which hostel he was so that he could come to the same one. This one was the only one John wanted to answer. After that he felt so good about himself that he thought he had achieved some time to relax. He lay down on his bed and opened the newest politics journal, completely forgetting that he was supposed to go play volleyball with his newest friends.

   Meanwhile, Nana and Hannah had just made it to the beach and they were putting sunscreen on each other’s backs (because, as Nana said, putting sunscreen on someone’s back tended to become a lot more than putting sunscreen on someone’s back if you weren’t careful). The boys, Wayne and Greg from the hostel, had obviously made it to the beach a lot earlier, because for them it was just swimming trunks, a ball for the volleyball match, go, where girls had to put their hair, collect their things like sunscreen and a water bottle, decide which dress they were to put on and which combination of bikinis they were to wear and check they had keys at least twice. Nana was in this way a traditional girl, Hannah was a bit less but she had had to prepare the kitchen for all the hostel people to cook lunch and dinner. So where Greg and Wayne had already started their second round, Nana and Hannah were only just about to jump in.

   “So, that boy of yours, John, didn’t come, then?” Hannah said to Nana when they stood up to join the game.

   “Thank god, I felt I had to invite him but it would’ve been horrible”

   “So much above everyone else, he was! People tend to come and tell me how I should live my life, but he was by far the worst, in a while, anyways”

   “I think he was just ignorant, never met anyone like you. I mean, if he’s just been hanging around with the college kids”

   “Haha, the privileged class, yeah. I guess you’re right. I’m still happy he didn’t come, he would’ve just tried to preach more to us. ‘That’s not life! I’m expecting great things of myself’”

   “Poor boy. I wonder if he’s ever actually had fun. Guys! Stop your game, we’re in, let’s start a new one! I bet ten bucks we’ll beat you”

   “Ha, no way you’re going to beat me and mister Baywatch here, but give it your best shot and when you lose, you owe us a dinner”, Wayne mocked. He was a tanned, gorgeous Australian with an adorable hint of an accent and more than enough self-confidence. Nana showed them she accepted the challenge by giving such an opening that neither of the boys could make themselves catch it.

   “Oh, was I too fast for mister Baywatch?” Nana laughed when she retrieved the ball for the second opening.

   They played two energetic rounds, boys winning the first one and girls the second, before they decided it was time for a break. They picked the least-crowded spot from the crowded beach and laid their towels there. Nana and Hannah persuaded Wayne and Greg to go swimming:

   “It’s hot in here! Besides, you are all sweaty, nothing freshens you up more than a quick swim!”

   “Yeah, and it’s not even cold, I was there this morning”

   “Well, I’m sure it didn’t feel that cold this morning since the air was cold, but I’m sure it’s freezing there right now!” Greg complained. Wayne had already stood up.

   “Let’s leave him whining, I could do with a little swim”, he started towards the sea before Hannah and Nana had time to react. They exchanged a look and darted behind Wayne to the great Pacific waves.

   They were splashing and playing in the ocean when Nana spotted someone on the beach.

   “Hannah! It’s Karl. See?”

   “Ah. Oh. Shit.”

   “Do you have your painting stuff with you? You should show him the new one, the one with the hostel and the couple. I’m sure he’d love it”

   “I’m sure he would. And I’d be screwed even more than I’m now”

   “I still think you should. You might change your mind at some point, realise that this is an opportunity you shouldn’t miss”

   “Well, I guess I don’t have a chance, he’s spotted us now. I guess I’ll have to go over there. Will you come too? My moral support”

   “Sure I’ll come”

   Karl greeted them with a wave when they reached the beach.

   “Hello, Nana. And Hannah. I saw you down there and couldn’t resist watching, you were so beautiful. You match with the ocean waves”

   Hannah rolled her eyes to Nana. Karl didn’t notice, but continued speaking.

   “I thought you might have something new to show to me. I’ve thought about the rocky shore painting, I bet I could get that one sold, if you’d just paint a few more so that we could open an exhibition. Maybe in New York”

   “Well, I don’t know about that…”

   “Have you seen the one with the hostel? That one is quite new”, Nana asked though of course she knew he hadn’t seen that one.

   “No, I haven’t. Do you have that one with you?”

   Hannah sighed but gave Nana a quick smile before leading him to their little camp where she had her bag. Nana smiled back. She knew that Hannah’s works were good enough to be in a gallery somewhere, and she was pretty sure Hannah secretly wanted that as well, but she was just worried about her freedom. She would come to her senses at some point, Nana was sure. When she stood there watching as Hannah and Karl were discussing over the painting, someone tapped her on her shoulder.

   She turned around and saw John, who had finally crawled up from his bed to the beach.

   “Oh, sorry, we stopped playing already…”

   “It’s all right. Who’s that?” John pointed towards Hannah and Karl.

   “That’s Karl. He admires Hannah’s paintings”

   “I didn’t know that she paints. Do you? I mean, make art or something?”

   “No. I study business in college, I’m halfway through”

   “Oh, you do? I didn’t know”, John cursed his repetitive answers. Why couldn’t he invent something interesting to say?

   “Yep. I also voted for Obama”, Nana winked. John grinned. “So, did you come to the beach to stand with your clothes on and all that? You’re way too pale, you need to get some colour”

   John took his shirt off as they went to their camp. Nana was surprised, she had not expected to see such abdomen, he was actually quite good-looking. She introduced him to Wayne and Greg, and they chatted for a while, John seemed to relax a bit. He did, however, cast long glances towards Hannah and Karl, when he thought the others weren’t looking. What was that girl doing with an older man like that? He could be her father, and there they were, and he knew well what these older men had in mind for a cute – on someone’s opinion, definitely, if not John’s – girl like Hannah.

   After a while Hannah and Karl started heading towards the others. She came first and had apparently decided the two groups should join.

   “So Karl, you’ve met Nana and Wayne, this is Greg and this is our newest friend, John. Greg, John, this is Karl from Sweden”

   Karl gave his hand for John and Greg to shake. Greg stood up with enough energy that the other youth saw it was a somewhat mocking gesture. John stood up slower and without a smile.

   “Nice to meet you, sir. How have you ended up here, all the way from Sweden?” With his tone he highlighted the fact that he was talking to an older person. Nana gave him an annoyed look – he had no right to make his statement about this situation, he had just arrived and they didn’t even know him that well and he definitely didn’t know anything about their lives.

   “Why, nice to meet you, young man. Sweden was too cold and too small, there’s no such charming creatures as these girls we have here. But you’re not local either, could I assume you are from the glorious England, the mother of this country as well as many others?”

   “Yes, I’m English, and here only to see the how this child of our country is surviving without the guidance of our Queen”

   Hannah was amazed. Where did this conversation come from? He could hear the mocking in the tones of both of the men, but couldn’t see why it was there. What was there to make these men hate each other from the very beginning? She tried to get some hints from Nana, who must’ve said something to John when she was talking with Karl further away, but Nana was showing no signs of anything. She kept wondering, until suddenly she heard her name.

   “I’ve heard you’re a great fan of Hannah’s paintings. I assume you’re a great admirer of art in general?” John said.

   “I can’t say that I am, but Hannah is quite an exceptional painter, I’m sure everyone who has seen her work would say that. Have you been granted the honour?”

   “I have not, yet, but I’ve just been acquainted with our artist for a couple of hours so I hope this won’t be held against me. I’m sure she’ll show them when she wants to, I won’t push her to do anything”

   “Ah, that’s admirable of you. She is, I admit, a bit shy and doesn’t show her work to anyone but her closest friends”

   At this point Hannah suddenly got furious. These two men whom she barely knew and was not sure whether she even wanted to know discussed her as if she wasn’t there! She had not been able to decide which one annoyed her more, but now Karl, indirectly saying that he was one of her best friends, went too far. She interrupted the conversation.

   “Oh, John, I was just thinking you might like to see my newest painting? It’s the hostel, so you can say whether it looks like it or not. I’m not perfectly sure about the colour of the roof”

   Score, John thought to himself. He didn’t himself really know why he wanted so badly to beat this Karl. Probably it was because Hannah was such an ideal target to his plan of civilising people and if Karl became her patron, Hannah would never learn to be an independent, strong member of the society. That was it, he was sure. He moved so that he was sitting next to her, while she once again pulled the paper out of her purse.

 

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